Thursday, July 11, 2013

"Only the good of the child" - Thinking about adoption.

The *most* important of human relationships, contrary to what everyone is so focused on today, is not the sexual relationship between partners -- gay or straight -- but between the parent and the child. Spouses and lovers and hookups come and go, die and can be even "replaced" in some sense, but neither the parent nor the child can ever be replaced. These are the most determinative relationships in humanity -- our parents form our sense of self for better or worse, and we would sooner die or kill to protect our children in a way that admits of no rivals.

Moreover, the male and female parental pair optimize the healthy formation of the child -- we are indeed a truly *sexed* species where the complementarity of the male and female not only are necessary to engender life but help us make sense of both the interior world and the exterior world, the physical and the external as well as the emotional and the internal. The natural parents are necessarily one male and one female -- that is the way biology and nature are so devised and that human life flourishes.

So when a child has lost his or her parents, and the State is in the sad need to find a suitable stop gap to provide for the child -- (and the good of the child is the ONLY thing that must be considered in this instance -- all other political, social, and sexual-gender agenda must be put aside for only the good of the child)-- the only sane public policy is to find a situation that best approximates the natural male-female relationship of the natural parents that the child lost.

While it is commendable that gay couples or singles may wish to generously raise children by adoption (or third party contributions), which they must do because their own relationship is necessarily sterile, it seems that it is in the pressing interest of the child as well as the State to try to find suitable male-female couples to meet this need as a matter of policy.

This is not to denigrate the homosexual couple (nor the single who wishes to adopt) who may well be loving, committed, generous and caring surrogates, but rather to seek first, foremost, and exclusively the very best for the child alone. Where society is called in to try to accommodate what nature or circumstance has deprived the child of -- namely, his or her natural father and mother -- the State ought to find an adopting couple to serve as both surrogate mother and father, something a homosexual couple can never do.

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